i want to kill someone, possibly myself

seriously, today, i want nothing so much as to just crawl under a rock and die. i'm tired and frustrated and nothing is working---and, of course, i'm running out of time.

first, work is a whole can of ugly that i don't even want to talk about right now. ICRA deadline on friday, and my results aren't coming out the way they should. why i continue to be surprised at my repeated failures is starting to escape even my delusional grasp.

perhaps less critical, but for somewhat rational reasons more immediately infuriating, is (you guessed it) more apartment agency hijinkx. monday, i went to the bank. they told me all i needed was a copy of maurice's identity card. this morning, i went back, with said copy, only to learn that they also need his signature, and would have been planning on doing the whole ring-around-the-rosie by snail mail again. this is clearly unacceptable, as i need this to be over by friday, so i can move this weekend. which, as it turns out, is a three day weekend. this is a fantastic thing, if i get the keys by friday. this is a catastrophe if i don't.

so i call the lady and try to figure out what our options are, and she starts trying to blame all this on me, saying, "well, if you had gotten me the attestation/contract/deposit/etc sooner, we wouldn't be in this situation." i was fuming. it's a good thing my french isn't any better than it is, because without the exorbitant delay between thinking and speaking, i would have given her a piece of my mind, and how.

excuse me? the bitch thinks she can go away for three weeks and LET OUR FILE SIT THERE TO ROT while TELLING US NOTHING, and then when we come to sign the form AT HER PROPOSED TIME, she had FORGOTTEN TO PREPARE THE CONTRACT. i ask you: which one of us isn't doing things fast enough?

yes, as a matter of fact, i am keeping score, and i'm damn proud of it. because i've had it up to here with her little circus, and if she fucks this up one more time, i may actually have to arrange for the weeping and gnashing of teeth to come pay her a little visit.

so we're on the phone, and she's blaming me. i'm able to hold my tongue for one reason, and one reason only, and that's simply that i don't know enough swear words in french to do justice to the situation. and she goes on: even if maurice can come to lausanne friday afternoon, all the appointments for inspections are full on friday, so it would wait until tuesday. no. if i'm paying for a contract on the 15th, i'm getting the fucking keys on or before the 15th, damn it. we argued some more, and eventually she said there might be a possibility of doing everything tomorrow morning, but she'll have to check with her supervisor, and i'll have to call her back in half an hour. then i'll have to ask maurice if there's any way he can come tomorrow morning. i feel bad for doing this to him, but i don't see what other choice i have.

okay, i really need to get back to my simulations now. i just had to vent this, or i would have had an even harder time concentrating than i'm going to have now.