it's happening again

i hadn't thought much about my bipolarity for the last few months, but now i think it's starting to resurface a bit. the sad part is, though, that i noticed it during an up phase, which makes a pretty effective killjoy.

and again, when i stop to think about it, it astonishes me how much it all makes perfect sense. i remember feeling jealous a bit when yannick and krister seemed to be spending a lot of time together bicycling places around the beginning of december, worried (irrationally) that they might take more interest in each other than me and subsequently cut me out of the loop entirely. which is almost exactly like i used to feel occasionally in reference to two of my other friends. (names suppressed since i think they actually read this from time to time; but even if you figure it out, the important part is that i now realize that it's neither true nor important.) then last week after karate, yannick asked me if i wanted to have lunch together on tuesday (yesterday), and seemed reasonably excited about spending time or doing something specifically with me. those of you that have been around for any of my previous bouts of self-analysis will remember that having someone else initiate unsolicited contact is huge for me. and we had a great time together. and that's what reminded me of my cyclic behaviour, mood swings, paranoia attacks, etc... i just need to keep telling myself that the good times are how life is supposed to be, and hope to hell i'm able to remember that next time the pendulum swings the other way.

okay, moving on, since i've got mucho catching up to do.

last friday was "spicy night, second edition: mexico." (which reminds me, i guess i've been remiss in writing for so long that i don't think i even mentioned "spicy night one: india" which we did at karen's house a week or so before i left for christmas---summary, karen and tia made spectacular indian food, and it was easily the best meal i had during all of 2006.) anyway, i was hosting this one, and karen had brought back the masa harina and corn husks for us to make tamales! so we had tamales, and chicken enchiladas, and spanish rice, and *guacamole*---and life was freakin' great. seriously. oh, and the fresh pineapple margueritas were fuckin' tasty too! to say nothing of the bottle of hornitos that karen also brought back (god, that stuff is good)...

saturday was one of the whirlwind weekends of rehearsals for the choir at UNIL, so i was there for like 6 hours, and got home around 8:30pm to find a message from tia, who i then promptly called back, only to find out that they were leaving on the 9:20 train to gstaad, and i had about 8 and a half minutes to throw all of my ski stuff in a bag and sprint to the station. shockingly, i made it, and we (tia, alex, krister, and i) spent the night in her grandmother's condo there, with the intention of going up skiing sunday morning. so we got up, got all suited up, and got down to the bus stop. only to get thrown off the bus by the driver who explained rather blundtly that the lower areas had no snow and the upper areas had too much wind and everything was completely closed (clearly he thought we were crazy for even being there). so we went back to the apartment and did some yoga and basically bummed around for the day, which frankly was probably just as nice if not nicer, to just be in a different place and relaxing with friends.

now, of course that meant i didn't do any work sunday, which made monday and yesterday pretty ridiculous, but it was worth it. and then, of course, last night we finally got first snow down here in lausanne, so i can only imagine that it probably snowed buckets up on the mountains. in this particular instance, i guess i was "a day early, and a dollar short..." oh, well.

remind me later to recount all the stuff that happened over my vacation home for the holiday.