pendulous pronouns and amiable adjectives

sweet christmas, i'm doing it again...

in a small way, i kinda find it moderately amusing; but in most other large ways, it's quite simply annoying as all hell. they're just essentially meaninless little words, and yet they seem to hold such life-and-death sway over my emotional well-being. and it doesn't make any sense. and it kinda pisses me off.

so, like i said, today is yannick's birthday. i had originally planned on breaking into his office early in the morning and planting a gift and a cake, and then just see what would happen. unfortunately, as with most of my brilliant schemes, this one had a fatal flaw, in that i don't actually know where his office is.

sure, go ahead and laugh, but i spent nearly half an hour last night trying to figure it out on the computer, before i gave up, seeing as their group apparently doesn't even have a website.

therefore, admitting defeat, but trying to effect damage control nonetheless, i wrote him a nice sardonic little email explaining the situation, and asking if maybe he wanted to go to lunch. wouldn't you know it, even if my original plot had worked, he wasn't planning to come in to the office today anyway. [rolls eyes] well, i tried, right?

i guess the point i was trying to make was just that we traded a few messages over the course of this exchange, and though it's hard to read much into what he writes (since he really doesn't write much; it's not that his replies are terse in a bad way, but they seldom contain any more words than are absolutely necessary to say what needs to be said), it really does seem like there was/is a playful amical character about the short phrases he chose. which actually probably carries even more significance given that it seems like he just writes them quickly and then sends it without thinking too much about it; instead of endlessly reading-rereading-revising the way i do when i write to someone---trying as hard as i can to disambiguate any conceivable misinterpretation.

so, yeah, i'm going through the whole "somebody actually likes me!" bit again. as long as i don't over-analyze it (which i'm trying very hard not to), it's rather a nice little happy feeling. i like it.

of course, though, you might remember that a couple months ago i wrote about basically doing the same thing with enno. and the sneaking suspicions that this sort of thing might not be anything more than a reminder that my view of reality is, well, not particularly "realistic." stupid, stupid brain chemical imbalances... [sigh]

like i said, probably better just to try not to think about it.